Skip navigation! Story from Sex Tips. Of all the plans we try to get out of , having sex with your partner probably shouldn't be up there with getting your teeth cleaned or going to yet another distant friend's birthday party. But still, sometimes having sex can feel like another item on your to-do list, so you just stop prioritizing sex altogether. Often relationship experts will suggest scheduling sex as a way to get couples out of a sexual rut, which makes sense in theory, but can make intimacy feel even more transactional in practice. However it's a myth that sex needs to be spontaneous, says Rachel Needle , PsyD, a licensed psychologist and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. In other words, it's not lame to plan sex.

We have the idea that sex is always supposed to be spontaneous, so making the decision to schedule sex feels like an admission that your sex life is officially dead. But scheduled sex actually be way more fun than you think. As time goes on, life catches up. For many couples, scheduling sex is the only way to ensure that they actually have sex. Scheduling sex helps on a logistical level, but it goes deeper than just blocking off an hour of time in your calendar.

If you're familiar with the BDSM or kink communities, then you know how much planning goes into every play session. The who, what, when, how, and with what tools or toys are not something that can be left to surprise. The key to keeping or developing a satisfying sex life, perhaps, may be planning ahead. Planning sex is a great way to improve both quality and quantity of sex in a long term partnership. Being busy seems like a way of life for some of us as work days get longer.